


Together As One

by abnormalphangirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Ballroom Dancing, Competition, Dancer Dan Howell, Dancer Phil Lester, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 03:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnormalphangirl/pseuds/abnormalphangirl
Summary: With an international dancing competition and a guaranteed spot in a premium American dancing school on the line, British dancers Daniel Howell and Phil Lester must find a way to put all of their issues behind them when the sworn enemies are chosen to represent London's Intermediate School of Dance in a duet written by the both of them.





	1. Practice Time

Dan hoisted his duffle bag over his shoulder, tucking his loose hairs behind his ear as he stepped out of his downtown London flat that he just moved into. At 22, the young artist had everything piled in his favor. He managed to finish his stunt in Uni a few months prior, leaving with an advanced degree in dance and a guaranteed spot in the top class at London's most famous school of dance to further his training. When London's Intermediate School of Dance contacted the dance program at Manchester University and requested they sent their top performers to a closed audition, their first thought was Dan. He had put his whole life into this, starting at a small local dance program at 8, moving to the more prestigious class at 11, and finishing off his high school career with one foot in the door at Manchester's studio by volunteering there to clean in exchange for use of their facilities on weekends. That's why when he finally made it to the big shots, London Intermediate, he was awestruck with some of the ability there. There were some below him and just a few at his level. With a class of 10 total, he was marked upon entrance by the instructor as the second highest in his class. And that struck a chord with him because number one was Phil Lester.

Phil was like everyone else in the school, passionate about dance in general, but he was separated by one fact. He was new. With his tall frame and demanding personality, he made a damn good lead and a hard worker, honestly a perfect partner for Dan's slim frame, but he had only begun training at the end of University. He skyrocketed to the most popular person in the class, and with his good looks, who could blame everyone for liking him. Yet, Dan hated him. He despised the fact that he didn't work as hard to get where he was, he hated that he didn't even have to try in class, he hated the fact that everyone fell for him but no one talked to Dan, and he hated the fact that he was so goddamn perfect.

As he left his flat, he slid on a pair of sunglasses, blocking out the sun and creating a fictional wall or a barrier between him and the other commuters. Today he had a slight skip to his step as he began his walk to the studio around the corner because today was the day he would find out if he was good enough to go to the competition of a lifetime. Weeks prior, he and all the other dancers submitted their personal dance routines to the instructor as a form of audition for the chance to fly to New York City with one other classmate to compete for a cash prize and a huge trophy at the International Dance Competition. Dan slid his phone into his back pocket as he reached for his bluetooth headphones to do what he usually did on his walk over. Play the same song on repeat and jog the short distance as a warm-up so early in the morning. The sun had barely peeked from behind the horizon and the moon was still visible on a cloudless day when Dan began his commute since his class began at 6 in the morning. The jog always cleared his mind, leaving it empty of all the previous night's troubles or personal matters, only providing space for dance. His mind swarmed with music and the non-existent sound of the metronome that he used for his steps.  _1,2,3,4, turn, 2,3,4._ This repeated the whole jog, his mind and body subconsciously reviewing every twist and step and leap in his audition, nitpicking the landings that weren't quite right and the steps that were half a beat off.

His mind flashed through move after move before switching to the other performances. There were a few that stood out, Phil's obviously being one of them. His had very minimal mistakes in it and he just danced with such grace, but Dan would probably kill himself before he would partner with that man. He stepped towards the door, tugging harshly on the door only to find it was locked. He furrowed his brows, pulling at the handle again.

"Come on," he muttered, biting the inside of his cheek before huffing and pulling out his phone. He would have to call for someone to come let him in because he knew that his instructor wouldn't be in until halfway through the normal class time. Scrolling through his contacts, he froze with his finger hovering over the number at the middle of the list. Phil. It would kill him to have to call to be let in, but he knew that he had a spare set of keys in case something happened to the first ones. Dan cursed under his breath before tapping the contact, holding the phone up to his ear. After a few moments of ringing, the boy on the other end answered.

"What do you want, Howell?" Phil asked into the phone, his voice laced with sleep and about three pitches deeper than usual. Damn, this guy was going to break Dan. He froze and looked behind him, chewing on his lip as he began to think if he really wanted to ask.

"Did you just get up?" Dan questioned, crossing his arm over his stomach protectively as if hiding his bare midriff from Phil's view.

"It's 5:30 in the morning, what do you think?"

"Dumb question, got it. Listen, I need you to come unlock the studio for me," he paused, sitting down on the grass next to the door. "It's stupid but I want to practice a bit more and it's locked."

Then it was silence, followed by a dial tone. The bastard had actually hung up on him. He exhaled deeply and laid back into the grass, letting the cool, dewy feeling surround him and hold him tightly. The song in his headphones resumed and repeated twice before he sat up, pushing himself to get back up and go home until everyone was already at the studio. Dan stepped out into the parking lot, using it as a shortcut to the alley behind his flat. A nice black sedan pulled in next to him, rolling down the tinted windows to speak to him.

"Leaving already, Howell? I got my butt out of bed two hours before I had to so that I could unlock this door, you're getting in this goddamn building." Phil snapped, gesturing for Dan to meet him at the door before pulling away and parking his car. Dan couldn't help but smile, jogging towards the door and tugging his hair out of place.

"Thanks for coming, Phil," he mumbled as the other dancer approached him, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket.

"And miss practice time, no way." Phil teased, nudging Dan out of the way with his elbow, sliding the key in and turning it to open the large door. "What do you need to practice for anyway? It's not like you're going to NY," he noted, pushing the door wide open.

"You don't know that. I'd just like to be prepared if I do."

"Everyone knows she's gonna send me. Nancy loves me."

"You keep forgetting, buddy. Its a  _duet_ , that means two of us get to go." Dan sassed, pushing past him into the large studio space. As he entered the room, he slipped his shoes off by the door, setting his bag down next to them. He immediately got to the ground, reaching out to grab his foot, lifting it over his head. Phil stood in the doorway, watching as the boy stretched out his arms, legs, and core, exercising each muscle of the body.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he questioned from the entrance of the room. Dan froze and looked down, not making any effort to look at him.

"Maybe because you're a cocky bastard," he mumbled, standing up and grabbing his bag to fling back over his shoulder. "Now if you don't mind, I've got to go change and practice."

Phil rolled his eyes and tossed the set of keys to Dan, watching as they fell to the ground as opposed to landing in his hands like expected. "Lock up after you're done. And give me those keys back at practice without letting Nancy knowing you had them." he snapped, closing the door behind him as he left.

 


	2. Get The Part

Dan shifted his eyes on Phil as he just through the studio doors about five minutes late, his hair thrown about and the bags under his eyes seemingly increased from earlier. He couldn't help but frown, feeling bad that he had caused Phil to oversleep on the day they heard from Nancy about competition. He continued to follow Phil with his eyes as he set his bag in the corner and shifted off his shoes, joining the others on the warm-up mat set up on the hardwood floor. Phil sat far away from Dan, his eyes glued on the mat as he stretched his legs and his arms quickly, trying to catch up to where everyone else was in the routine.

Dan swallowed, looking back at Nancy and trying to avoid contact with Phil at all. He decided it would be best if he simply slipped the studio keys back into Phil's bag during the break, not talking to him at all. It was uncomfortable to see Phil this wrecked. It was rare, if it even had happened before, to see Phil as disheveled as he currently was. Usually, he was put together, hair tucked into place, clothes were form fitting but still obviously clothes he wore to work out in, and his face was generally clean shaven. But now, he was wearing the clothes he had thrown on when he came to rescue Dan earlier, his hair was in all directions, and the stubble on his cheeks has become easily noticeable. He was obviously tired, but it couldn't have all been caused from just one day. Maybe Dan just didn't notice before. 

After they had all stretched, Nancy leaned back on her heels, looking around slightly at everyone, obvious that she was about to announce who was heading for a once in a lifetime trip to New York for a competition to represent the country of England, basically.

"It took a lot of thought, and I watched your tapes over and over again to try to find the two people who put the most thought, creativity, and effort into their works. And all of them were great, believe me, so if you were not picked, it does not mean you should stop trying to become the best. I believe that every one of you can achieve everything you put your minds to." Nancy rambled, students through the room rolling their eyes and sitting back a bit.

"Just get to it, Ms. Nancy." Someone joked, everyone laughing, including her. Well, everyone but Phil.

"Fine, fine. My two picks to go to IDC for us is Phil Lester and Dan Howell."

Phil's head snapped up from his lap as his eyes immediately torn to Dan, his brows furrowed, mouth opening to complain.

"I know, you two do not get along but that's life. You've gotta learn how to work with people you don't like."

Dan nodded and gave a pseudo grin, twisting around to face towards Phil, "I look forward to working with you."

The rest of the class went as usual, adding in a few more pointed comments and aggravated looks exchanged between the two boys as the other was praised or scolded for the different techniques they were using to show off against each other. As the class dismissed, Nancy pulled the two of them to the side.

"Now, I'm giving you two time to make this good. We have two months of write,

perfect, and perform this duet so I need to two of you on your best behavior. Can you do that?"

"Of course, Ms. Nancy. I'm willing to put everything behind me in order to do well." Phil responded, looking down at the shorter boy, "As long as he goes along with it, I will."

Dan rolled his eyes slightly, nodding along with him, crossing his arms. "I'm good, Ms. Nancy."

"Good. You should get together sometime today to have an idea for tomorrow's class, I'll help you with it then."

Phil frowned but nodded, holding in all of his snide comments until after she had left the building. "I had a date tonight."

"So? Bring her along, I'm sure she'll love to watch you dance." he snapped, walking over to his bag to grab his cell phone.

"Oh I'm sure." Phil rolled his eyes, sitting down onto the soft blue mat they have covering the whole floor of the main studio room. Dan froze above him and sighed, sitting down defeated.

"If you want, you can go on your date and we can meet up in the morning and exchange ideas."

"No, it's fine. I'll just ca—"

"Just go get her, tiger. I'll brainstorm some stuff tonight." Dan said softly, watching as Phil's lips twitched into a smile.

"Thank you."


	3. Dirty Dancing

A soft bell rang through the diner as the door was pushed open, Phil glancing around as he entered the building in search of Dan. After Phil left for his date that night, he got a text message with only the name of this small family-owned restaurant and a time. 4:45 am. He was not happy about that. 

A quiet yawn left his mouth as he made his way over to Dan, sitting down across from him as he was sipping what was probably coffee in a colorful mug. Dan wiped his mouth off as he gave Phil a shy smile, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Hi," he said softly. "Thanks for meeting this early. We just need something to tell Nancy." 

"It's nothing. Just tired now. I haven't really had a lot of time to think, though." 

"I've got some ideas, so it should be fine, we just need to pick one," Dan muttered as he shimmed the menu in front of him, waiting for Phil to order his drink as he looked for what he would eat. The waiter walked over and starting making pleasant small talk with Dan as Phil yawned and stretched his arms out a little. He glanced up as he was about to order. His face turned red as he cleared his throat, smiling slightly before staring back down at the menu in front of him. 

"Just a coffee," he said quietly,  "Thank you." Dan cocked his head to the side before smiling at Phil's reaction, clearing his throat softly. 

"What're your ideas?" Phil asked, looking up at Dan before looking behind him to spot the waiter again. 

"Have you ever seen Dirty Dancing?" Dan asked as he sipped his coffee. 

"Nope," Phil popped, his 'p' falling off of his lip as he shook his head. "Isn't that a chick flick?"

Dan scoffed and shook his head, "Not really. I don't think so." he frowned, glancing down as he pushed the hair out of his face. "I like it." Phil laughed slightly before shaking his head. 

"That explains it. It is a chick flick. You're just a huge chick." 

"What?" he spat, furrowing his brow. "I am not." 

"You totally are. You act like it."

"I do not act like a chick." Dan spat, crossing his arms. "Take that back."

"Take that back? What are you, three?" Phil laughed slightly, standing up, "Whatever, I'm going to sleep."

"Sleep? We need an idea." Dan huffed, furrowing his brows again. "Nancy needs it this morning. And if we don't ha-"

"Just say anything, I don't care anymore," Phil said, rubbing his forehead slightly before pushing the hair out of his face. He stepped out of the booth, smiling shyly at the waiter as he walked out of the diner, leaving Dan with tears in his eyes.


	4. Payment

Dan pushed the door open to the studio, hiding behind his hair as he stared at his feet, feeling the eyes switch onto him. After Phil left him at the studio, he returned home and passed out on the couch with a bag of popcorn against his chest, which ended up all over himself and the floor. He always was self destructive when he got upset.

"Sorry I'm late." he muttered, brushing his hand through his hair as he tugged off his shoes and sat his bag down in the corner. He looked up, eyes locking with Phil who stood in the front with Nancy.

"It's fine. I explained we were up late last night getting ready and I let you go to sleep before I left." Phil said, his jaw clenched as he looked back at her.

"Oh, uh— thanks."

"Now, as I was saying..." he trailed off, gesturing for Dan to join them. "We were talking last night about what we wanted to do. Dan suggested something sorta like Dirty Dancing but I w—"

"That sounds wonderful!" Nancy exclaimed, clapping her hands together once. "Get working on that, I'll dismiss you from class and you can use the practice room."

Dan looked from Phil's face to the ground as he nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He moved silently into the practice room, sitting against the wall as he brought his knees to his chest. Phil followed him in and sat opposite him, staring at him.

"I'm s—"

"Sorry doesn't cut it Phil." Dan snapped, grinding his teeth. "You belittled me, called me a chick, and mocked my favorite movie. You're fucking garbage, Phil. You are." he snapped his head down, staring at the floor in silence.

"I fucking protected your ass in there. Where the hell were you? I lied to Nancy so that you didn't get chewed out. Isn't that payment enough for what I said?"

"Payment? Seriously?"

"Yeah, I didn't say anything that bad." he mumbled.

"That bad?  _That bad?_  You called me a girl!"

"So? You know you aren't one."

"It still hurts to know that people think I am one. What would you do if someone called you a fag or whatever."

"I'd fucking flip my shit. No way." Phil spat quickly, crossing his arms. Dan cocked his head to the side, watching as Phil's jaw tightened and his face redden slightly.

"Oh my g— Phil! You're g—"

"Shut the fuck up, Howell! If you for even a second would think that I'm a fag like you then you're dumber than I fucking thought,"

"Phil, it's fine."

"You're just trying to get into my pants. You can't just do that you whore!" Phil hissed.

"Phil!" he yelled, snapping his fingers in front of him to get his attention. "Listen, I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."

"I'm not g—"

"I know it's scary. Trust me, I know. Coming out to people is probably the scariest thing you're ever going to do. But I understand what that's like. And I sympathize that you didn't do it earlier because honestly, the earlier you accept who you are, the happier you are." Dan explained softly, lowering his knees to look Phil in the eye for a split second before he pulled away, staring at the ground. The room went silent as Phil fiddled with his fingers, clearing his throat after a moment.

"Just... Don't tell anyone." he whispered, rubbing his neck slightly.

"Was that date last night really with a girl?"

"No... I met him getting coffee yesterday morning. That's why I was late, I didn't wake up late. I was with him..."

"How'd it go?" he asked, smiling slightly at him.

"It was fine. You're not getting any juicy details."

"I wasn't asking for them."

"Good. Now let's get to work."


	5. Friendship

Dan let out a loud laugh as he leaned against the wall, covering his mouth with his hands as he giggled at Phil. The two sat in the practice room long after class had ended; laughing, telling jokes, and occasionally actually doing work.

"What?" Phil asked, a smile on his face."What are you laughing at?"

Dan shook his head as he continued to laugh, "You got sauce on your chin," he mumbled, crawling over towards him, pushing the pizza box out of the way. "Right..." he paused to poke Phil's jawline. "There."

Phil froze and looked down at Dan, sucking in a deep breath and holding it in his chest. "T-Thanks."

Dan smiled and looked up, wiping the sauce up with his thumb before sucking the sauce off. "Yum." he giggled.

"Maybe we should practice some of th—"

"I've got an idea!" Dan said, rolling onto his back to lay on the ground. "We should head over to my place to watch Dirty Dancing."

"Should we though?" Phil asked, chewing on his lip. "Doesn't really seem like a movie I'd even like."

"Trust me. If you're gay and you have eyes then you're going to love this movie.Plus, how are you going to dance like Johnny if you don't know who he is." Dan argued, grabbing for another slice of pizza with a whine as he realized it was too far away. Phil smiled and nodded, pulling the pizza closer to Dan as he laid there, while he laid down next to him.

"Should we head over now then" Phil asked, "We technically don't need to be in class tomorrow because we're working on the competition so we can be up pretty late."

"What do you think we're gonna be doing Phil? It's 7 and the movie is two hours long. We'll be in bed by at least 10."

"Fine. Let's go."


	6. Mistake

Dan's eyes fluttered open as he groaned, shaking his head. It had been a really long time since he had indulged himself in food like that since he preferred to eat healthy for dance. He looked up and stared at the ceiling, yawning slightly before reaching over to grab his phone off the table. His hand grabbed at the table, his brows furrowing and his stomach turning as he realized it was someone else he was touching.

His eyes snapped down there, his heart jumping out of his chest.

"Jesus Chr— Phil! Get up!" he yelled, sitting up off the couch. Phil groaned and shook his head slightly, covering his head with his arm before freezing and jolting up just as Dan had.

"What am I—" he paused, "I didn— We didn— Dan!" he sputtered, hands flying up to cover his eyes with a grunt of anger.

"I don't think we— I just woke up." Dan said, stretching out his arms. "Would we really..." he cleared his throat. "on the couch?"

"I wouldn't but I can't vouch for you." he snapped, huffing as he stood up and looked around for his phone. "I never took out my fucking contacts." he hissed, reaching up to take them out. "I have to go to my fl—"

"Phil! Calm down. One thing at a time." Dan assured, checking his phone. " _Shit_! It's 7:30 and I have a missed call from Nancy."

Phil pulled his phone out and held it as close to his face as he could. "I can't read it but I'm pretty sure I have one too."

"Okay, so I can get you an Uber to your flat and we can make it so that we don't show up at the same time, that obvious that we spent the night together."

"No! Because if we show up apart then it will be obvious that this happened an—"

"Nothing happened," Dan snapped, crossing his arms. "We had just finished up Dirty Dancing and you put on another movie. We just fell asleep. You were on the floor and I was on the couch."

"Why are you so freaked out that something  _might_  have happened? You were the one who spent all yesterday telling me that I need to be who I am. What if who I am is with you?" Phil spat, shoving his phone in his pocket. "I'm leaving. Tell Nancy I won't be coming in today." 


	7. Cold

The next few days returned to how it was before, well at least for Phil. He spited Dan and used every available moment to get that point across. He spat comments and insults his way everything something wasn't 100% correct in their routine. It was just like before.

Expect it wasn't.

Whereas Dan usually spat venomous words right back at Phil, he now squeaked soft apologies, his bitter edge replaced by a sorrow filled expression and self-pity.

"What the hell has gotten into you!" Phil yelled, pushing Dan away as he again, messed up the step they were working on. "Get your fucking brain back from whichever whore you loaned it to and dance, idiot."

Dan swallowed and looked down, nodding slightly. " Got it.-'m sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, moron. Do the work right or quit."

"You're right, I'll do it right," he whispered, moving to the spot and lifting his arms to reset that set.

"About time." Phil snapped, taking in a deep breath to reset. The music began again and so did the steps, the two moving in time with each other smoothly until Dan's foot slipped and twisted in, his ankle cracking as he fell down onto the hardwood floor.

"God fucking da—" Phil started as he saw Dan fall, pausing as he noticed tears slip down his face. He fell down after him, wrapping one arm around his body slightly, the other one working to maneuver his leg from under his body. "Shit." he muttered, "Looks like you twisted it pretty bad, maybe even a fracture."

"It's okay, I'm fine. Let's keep going. I've got to get this set." Dan whimpered, pushing himself off the ground, letting out a quiet whine as he put pressure on his foot before chewing on his lip and replacing his arms to do the set.

"No, Dan. You can't stand on that."

"I really am fine. It barely hurts."

"This isn't for you, this is for the gig. If you stand on it and fuck it up even more, then you can't do the comp. And I will not have that. So sit down while I get you some ice." he spat, leaving the room with a slam of the door. Dan slid down slowly, allowing tears to freely stream down his warm cheeks.

He was broken, Phil had finally broken him. For a moment, he thought there was another chance for the friendship he managed to mess up last time. And Dan was sick of taking the high road, apologizing for each little mistake and taking all the backlash for each thing he did, even if it was good.

The door swung back open with Phil and Nancy filing in the practice room, the peering heads of some students in the doorway.

"As I said, he hurt it pretty bad," Phil explained, setting down a bag of ice next to Dan for him to grab.

"What were you guys even doing?" Nancy questioned quietly, "I thought you guys were always the most careful."

"I messed up doing a simple set, human error got me." Dan shrugged, looking from Phil to the ground.

"I'd take a day of rest before getting back on it. Do you have a way to get home?"

Dan shook his head, "I usually walk home."

"Phil, can you give Dan a ride to his flat? It's not fa—"

"I know where it is. I can handle it." Phil said quietly, helping Dan to his feet, leading him out the door. Dan stared at the ground as he limped against Phil to his sedan, leaning against the hood as Phil opened the back door and adjusted the seats.

"Than—"

"Get in. I've got to get back as soon as I can." Phil said sharply, walking around to the driver's side before getting in. Dan chewed on his lip and moved as fast as he could to the back seat, wincing as he accidentally knocked his foot on the seat in front of him, jarring his ankle. Still nothing. No worried look or simple 'are you okay?'. Nothing.

Dan huffed and looked out the window, "Did I really hurt your ego that bad?" he snapped.

Phil froze at Dan's tone, "No. Of course not, nothing can hurt my ego that bad."

"See! This is what I hate about you! You cover everything up with anger and bitterness."

"There's nothing to cover."

"What about what happened the other day, talk about that. Talk about what a piece of shit I am for what I did. Just do som—"

"You really want me to talk about it? Fine. We'll talk about the fact that you find me so repulsive that you came up with fourteen different excuses and different stories to make sure everyone knows that I was on the floor and you were on the couch and nothing fucking happened. We'll talk about how you don't practice what you preach, how you spend every bit of your energy telling people to be themselves but I've never once heard you be you. You're always that twisted made up version of yourself that you put on. The only time you're you is when we were in that room and in your house together. Is that what you want to talk about, Dan? Is it?" Phil spat venomously, turning the car on the racing out of the parking lot. Dan froze and looked down, chewing on the inside of his cheek, feeling small drops of blood trail down inside his cheeks.

The rest of the ride was sat in silence, the two boys having very different emotions. Dan was full of regret, pity, and wholehearted sadness whereas Phil was fuming with anger and aching with heartbreak, his whole body shaking from both. As he pulled up to Dan's flat, he stopped, taking a deep breath and turning the car off, getting out to help Dan up to his flat. Dan tore off his seatbelt as he watched Phil walk around the car, opening the door.

"I-I'm fine. I can get up there myself."

"Shut up." he snapped, pulling his out of the car and wrapping an arm around him to help him up.

"I do—"

"Just be quiet," he whispered, half to himself and half to Dan, and then they stopped talking, resuming the walk up to the flat door in an awkward silence. Phil pushed open the door and helped Dan to the couch.

"I didn't mean to explode like th—"

"I don't find you repulsive." Dan blurted, looking away as he laid down on the couch. "I just... we just became friends and I didn't want you to think that I would do that to you."

"Well, it's too late now," Phil mumbled, crossing his arms. "Your apology doesn't change anything."

Dan furrowed his brows and his mouth fell agape, "I— what?"

"If you don't understand what's so wrong then you're on your own. I'll tell you this, your apology is just that. It doesn't change the facts."


	8. Just Be You

"Come on, Phil," Dan whined as he leaned his head against the wall, panting softly for breath. "Just tell me what I can fix to make this better between us."

Phil paused and glanced up from his spot in the middle of the room, adjusting his feet to reset before holding his arms out.

"We've got a lot of work to do, we can discuss this after."

"After what? Practice? The competition? You can't keep shoving me away like th—"

"It's working perfectly fine for me now." Phil snapped, taking in a deep breath, gesturing for him to join him. Dan sighed and tilted his head down, holding his hands up to take the position of the first set. The music clicked on and they were off. Feet moved in sync to the music and their bodies were as one for just a moment. Phil glanced up and tilted Dan's head up to look him in the eyes, a stoic look on his face but in his eyes swam the warmth and love that Dan missed from their short time as friends.

"What's wrong?" Phil asked, looking him over slightly. Dan cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, blinking a few times before realizing that he had stopped moving entirely.

"O-Oh. Nothing. I'm go-good, sorry."

"Get your head in the game, Howell." Phil muttered, sighing as he reset the music again to repeat the moves they just did. Dan sucked in a deep breath, letting his chest expand to nearly meet Phil's before he blew it out and with it, his tension. His shoulders relaxed into position and he felt light on his feet, adding more emotion and expression to his movements.

Simultaneously, Dan allowed Phil to lead him around the dance floor with ease and yet took control of himself. He guided himself to each spot with only the slightest help from Phil's arms and hips which would occasionally brush against the small of Dan's back or his stomach as they moved. Phil spun Dan out, his instincts telling him to pull him back to him as quickly as possible but he hesitated, staring down his extended arm at the boy.

His curls stuck in every direction, some to his forehead with sweat and some reached for the sky as they became tugged out of place. While Dan's face was gleaming with sweat, it still managed to only highlight the tops of his cheek bones and his nose. Phil glanced up to Dan's eyes, watching as he ran his tongue over his lips slightly.

Only then did Phil twirl him back into his arms, holding Dan close to his chest as he wrapped an arm around his stomach. He let their breaths sync up, his heartbeat only slightly fast than his.

"Why can't I have you?" Dan whispered, resting his head against the chest behind him.

"You can. You just have to not try," he whispered back, pushing Dan out to continue the set. He twirled Dan once before pulling him in and gripping his leg to move over his head.

"What does that mean?" Dan asked, out of breath as he froze, his leg in the air next to Phil's head.

"Figure it out." he said, tossing Dan's leg as he ducked underneath him, going between his legs as he kept to emerge behind him. The music had stopped at this point, the two just moving to the silence and the beat of their hearts, Phil pulling Dan close to him, his hands ghosting down his body.

"Why does our love life have to be hidden in encoded messages?" Dan teased, grabbing Phil's hands in his, removing them from his body.

"How else is it supposed to be interesting?" Phil mumbled in Dan's ear before pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin behind it. Dan shivered at his touch, stumbling as he felt Phil shove him away. He tumbled onto the mat beneath them, staring up at Phil as he shook out his hair a bit. He laughed—his first real laugh with him since the night they spent together— and he reaches up to yank him down with him.

"See, this is what I mean." Phil said as he laid down next to Dan, brushing his curls out of his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"This is what I like. I like  _you_."

Dan cocked his head to the side, huffing with aggravation as he looked at the older man next to him. "I am me."

"I've told you, you aren't." Phil whispered, "In front of them you are not you. You hide yourself behind what's popular and you try too hard to be liked."

"You do it too." Dan argued quietly, his brows furrowing.

"Just because I'm happier with you doesn't mean that that's not me. You are not you when you are out there in the world."

"Does that mean w—"

"I can't be with you until you decide that you can be with you."

"How do I do that? I'm not the best company."

"Live your truth. Just be you."


	9. Natural

Dan took a deep breath before entering the studio the next day, taking a moment to brush his curls to one side, letting his natural look take over. Since he began dancing, he preferred to keep it straight, the only person to see it curly being Phil while they worked together. And even then it began as straight and managed to curl from the sweat.

He pushed the doors open, watching as people's eyes, but not their heads, snap towards him.

"Nice hair. Just decided to curl it this morning?" Someone spoke up, holding the warm up position they were in with their foot brought up over their heads.

"No, decided to leave it like this for the day. All natural." He spoke proudly rather than afraid, his eyes scanning the room to land on Phil who leaned against the doorway of the practice room with a cocky smirk. Dan rolled his eyes and made his way over, obvious that both were still trying to pretend like they hated each other.

"Howell. 'bout time you showed up."

"Sorry, I was busy with your mum." Dan said just loud enough for a few other people to hear before stepping into the room ahead of Phil. As soon as the door closed, Dan felt himself pushed against the wall, all breath leaving his body as he smashed against it hard. For a moment, he was scared. Scared that he had made a mistake and that by seeing who he was, Phil would hate it and everything would go back to how it was before. But as his pupils blew from fear and his breathing sped up, he felt Phil's chapped lips press against his.

He froze, trying to get himself to calm down before wrapping his arms around his neck, using that to pull him closer as he stood up onto his toes. The two broke away, Phil running his fingers through Dan's hair as he stared at him.

"God, you look so good like that. If you had done this like a week ago my closeted heart wouldn't be able to take the conflict. I think I would die."

Dan giggled, "We wouldn't want that." he said quietly, pressing a soft kiss onto the corner of his mouth.

"As much as I want to keep this going, we should probably practice a bit." Phil mumbled, trying to push Dan off a bit, not really trying too hard.

"No," he whined, "But I—"

"No, Dan, work." Phil said strictly, watching as Dan stood up straight instantly, huffing as he listened to him. Phil smiled slightly as he led Dan to the middle of the room, turning on the music as they walked. He grabbed ahold of Dan's hands and pulled him close, twirling him in and then back out instantaneously, not at all following set for the competition. He spun him around multiple times before he pulling him in with a yank, wrapping his arm around his waist lightly, tracing his hand down his side to his hip.

"What's all this abou—" Dan began to ask, his voice breaking off as Phil spun him back out. He yelped, stumbling a bit as he didn't expect the sudden movements, grabbing tightly onto Phil's hand.

"You look gorgeous today." Phil said, twirling Dan on his toes before he pulled him back, holding him close. "But there's more. More both of us can do." he whispered to him.

Dan whined softly and rolled his eyes, "Like what? I'm me, am I not?"

"Yeah you're you, and I'm me. But we aren't... us."

"That's because you wo—"

"We can be us. In front of everyone," he said, pulling Dan into a short kiss. They smiled and held each other close, just listening to the sound of the music and the sound of their breathing.

"I'm scared." Phil whispered to him, cupping his hand around Dan's cheek and jaw. "What if they—"

"Then we keep going. We can't let them stop us." Dan retorted, pressing a soft reassuring kiss to his cheek, running his hands through his hair.

"What if Nancy is a homophobe and she kicks us off the IDC?"

"Then that's her loss. She'd be setting herself up for failure by not sending us, we're the best ones here." Dan said softly, looking him in the eyes as he slowly spoke, "Everything is going to be okay."


	10. Us

The next day, Dan stood perched outside the door as he did the previous day, fixing his curls and taking in a few deep breaths before pushing open the door to the class that had already begun. He had gotten used to coming in whenever he wanted, which was still early but not as early as before, mostly because he wanted to see Phil as long as possible.

He knew that Phil was already leaned against the doorway of the practice room waiting for his arrival because that's how they had it planned out when Phil left his flat early that morning, letting Dan get ready for class without him there.

"Mr. Howell, how do you think the duet is going?" Ms. Nancy questioned as he stepped in the door, a smile on her face the whole time. Dan flashed her a small smile as well before glancing over at Phil, his cheek heating up as he felt his gaze on him.

"I think it's going good. Really coming together. I'm glad that you chose me and Phil for the position, it's really given us time to work through our problems."

"Really? Well, I'm glad. And what was the problem?"

"I was a jealous little closeted shit." Phil spoke up from the other side of the room. And Dan's heart sunk. He knew it was coming, they had planned it this morning when they woke up, but still his stomach churned and his hands twitched at his side.

"Closeted?" Nancy asked, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Does that mean—"

"I'm gay, Ms. Nancy. And it was eating me up inside to be able to see Dan not have to hide it."

"Well you don't need to hide it fr—"

"And we're together." Dan blurted, watching as the students froze as well as Nancy, one even losing her balance and tumbling over. He looked up at Phil and took in a deep breath, walking over to him slowly.

"Oh, you're—"

"We are dating." Phil said, wrapping an arm around Dan's waist, pulling him closer to him. As the two held their breath, Nancy talked quietly to the class before dismissing herself from the front of the room to walk towards the couple in the back. She gestured for them to enter the practice room and Dan almost started crying, his body shaking as she followed them in.

"Ms. Nancy, I—"

"I'm not here to rag on you guys. You should know that I'm not going to break you up because you're gay. I don't care honestly. My issue is if this affect the competition."

Dan let out his breath and relaxed into Phil's arms, blinking away tears as he shook his head, "No, I won't let this get in the way."

"If anything, Ms. Nancy, we've been dancing more passionately than ever before." Phil added, smiling down at the boy in his arms.

"That's a relief. But, do me a favor. I have a lot of trust in you two, don't waste your time in here, and don't waste your time in New York," she whispered, walking back to the door, "And there are people in NY who aren't as nice as me about this, try to keep it down at the competition." And with that, she was gone and it was only the two of them, removing their shoes and bags in silence, mutually agreeing to begin their day. It wasn't long before the same music bellowed throughout the room. A simple melody played by a violin and other stringed instruments were accompanied by the gentle tone of a piano that played a more intricate tune, weaving in and out of the texture.

Phil rested his hand on Dan's side as he pulled him in, using his feet to brush up his leg with a giggle. They smiled slightly and started moving to the beat, Phil watching as Dan's curls bounced against his forehead and Dan peering at Phil's tensing bicep.

"Phil," Dan whispered, interrupted by a giggle leaving his mouth as the other boy twirled him around, "No, no, this is important, Phil. Stop for a second," he continued, grabbing Phil's arm tightly to stop him. He stopped in his tracks, looking Dan dead in the eyes as he began to worry about the statement that was about to come out of his mouth. 

"What is it? Are you okay?" he asked quietly, grabbing his face to look at him closer. 

"More than okay, Phil. I think I love you, Phil." Dan whispered, a smile creeping onto his face as he realized what he said, his cheeks reddening. Phil frowned and shoved Dan away from him, shaking his head and running out of the room with a slam of the door. 


	11. Push Away

"That's not what I expected..." Dan mumbled to himself, wrapping his arms around himself as he looked out the open door to the class that was staring at him silently. He swallowed the lump of tears that was being to form in his throat and looked down at his feet before closing the door and sitting against it. After bringing his knees to his chest, he lowered his head into his lap, failing to keep the warm tears off his face. 

"What was that?" A student behind the door whispered to the person next to him, the response not verbalized enough for Dan to hear. The music that was still running across the room echoed in his head, throbbing against his skull as he glanced up to stare at the speaker that was reminding him of what happened with every note. Dan wiped the tears from his eyes with his shirt and stood up slowly, using the door to hold his weight as he almost fell. Slowly, he gathered Phil's things in his workout bag, followed by his own things. He turned off the music and took a deep breath before pushing the door open again to walk out, keeping his eyes on the ground and ignoring the stares that were piercing his back.

Dan pulled out his phone, dialing Phil's number and waiting for the ringing. But it didn't come. The cheery voice of Phil was what he heard as he called but it wasn't Phil himself but the voicemail he set his phone to when he left the dance studio. He wiped another tear from his eyes as he tried again and again, still only getting voicemail. 

"H-Hey, Phil. Please come back. Or m-meet me at my flat, I h-have your stuff for you," he shakily explained to the silence as he left his fifth voicemail since he called. Dan pocketed his phone and looked around, huffing as he walked forward, heading towards Phil's flat with both bags over his shoulders. The walk to the flat felt longer in Dan's head, guilt and sorrow weighing down every step until the fifteen-minute walk felt like hours. As he walked through the car park, he spotted Phil's car and took a deep breath, practically running up the stairs to his door, hesitating to knock before quietly tapping on the wood. The door opened slightly revealing Phil, hiding behind the door a bit. 

"What do you want?" Phil spat, glaring at the boy behind the door.  Dan scoffed and crossed his arms, holding back tears. 

"You have no right to be pissy with me. I'm not the one who ran away when you said 'I love you' so, I'm the one who should be pissy." 

"Should be? You aren't?"

"I'm hurt, Phil. I wasn't expecting it back, but not running away in front of literally everyone at the studio. Yeah, they noticed."

"Listen, I don't care if they noticed. I can't be moving that fast-"

"Then we'll slow down."

"No, listen to me, Dan. I can't be in this relationship. Let's just forget it ever happened." Phil explained, attempting to close the door, only to have it held open by Dan's foot. 

"What? Just forget it happened? I told you I loved you and you want to just forget it? What is wrong with you?" Dan spat, stepping back and throwing Phil's bag at the door. "You're welcome, fuckface," he hissed, turning on his heel and walking down the stairs, not turning back. 


	12. New York

The two dancers disembarked from the plane, each toting their own carry-on luggage full of books and their laptops which weren't touched the entire flight. As they walked in silence to get their luggage, they found each other drifting closer together, walking with their hands barely brushing against together before one of them would yank their hand away and both found themselves with pink cheeks. 

It was months since the breakup, time for the competition in New York. That night, Phil returned to Dan's flat with the things he had left at his place and the two sat down to drink and talk through the reasons they were breaking up. 

_"You broke up with me, Phil. Don't try to get me to tell you why we did." Dan explained, laughing quietly as he sipped the wine in his glass. Phil sighed and took a drink of his rum, setting the glass on the table._

_"I know I did. I guess I'm just not ready for-"_

_"You're not ready to be serious. I get it. This is basically your first relationship with a man, right?" Dan asked, avoiding eye contact by staring at his drink, clearing his throat to look back up. "It's scary. I was pissed, trust me, I was. But I get it."_

_"You do?"_

_"I do. I understand. We have to be civil with each other for the dance thing, so we'll do that, right?"_

_"Do you really love me?" Phil asked quietly, setting his glass down after finishing off his second glass the liquid. Dan chuckled quietly and nodded, looking at him with a smile. Phil swallowed as he felt his cheeks go red from the alcohol in his system._

_"Come with me," Phil whispered, grabbing Dan's hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Dan smiled and looked down._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"Just come with me," he said teasingly, with a grin on his face. Dan stood up and giggled, following behind Phil down the hall._

That night was pushed out of both of their minds the next day as Phil left the flat and heading for the studio, leaving Dan was confused thoughts and mixed emotions. The two managed to keep civil and perfect their routine for New York, but Dan can't help the ache in his stomach as he constantly runs that night through his head. Was it all fake for Phil? Did he just do that to do it? Would he do it again? 

"Our luggage is right over here, I can gra- You're crying." Phil started, oblivious to Dan's mood until he noticed the tears going down his face. Dan shook his head and wiped his eyes with his hand. 

"Allergies," he whispered, closing his eyes. 

"You okay, Dan? I know it's not allergies."

"I'm fine, just go get our luggage." Dan spat, crossing his arms and looking away from Phil as he backed away to go to retrieve their luggage. 

"Fuck," he whispered, clenching his jaw tightly as he ran his fingers through his hair angrily, huffing and wiping away the last couple of tears as Phil returned. 

"See, all better," Dan said with a fake smile, knowing Phil could probably see right through his facade. Phil took in a deep breath and nodded, passing over his luggage with a forced smile. 

"Let's go check into our hotel." Phil reassured, rubbing his back a bit, making Dan's stomach flip and twist around in agony. 


	13. Hotel

"Did you not change the reservation?" Dan mumbled as the two of them stood in the doorway of their hotel room which they would be staying in for a week, staring at the single queen sized bed in the middle of the room. The two of them booked the room while they were dating and both agreed that the other would request a change. 

"I thought you were doing it," he whispered, looking down at his feet. Dan sighed and looked at Phil, shaking his head. Usually, he wouldn't mind sharing the bed but with the mixed emotions he is having at the moment, it would only end with them doing something they would regret. 

"I'll go talk to them and change it up," Dan said, turning on his heels to leave the room.

"I'm sorry," Phil whispered as Dan left, sighing as he set his bags down to sit on the bed, waiting for the other to return with the changed room number. A few minutes later, he watches as Dan comes huffing down the hallway, rolling his eyes and muttering to himself. Phil couldn't help but smile at his actions, standing up to silently ask where to go. 

"No room openings. We're stuck here." Dan answered his silent question, grabbing his bag and dragging it to the far corner to get it down. "I'll sleep on the little sofa."

"No, Dan, we have this huge bed, I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa. It's not going to be that weird." 

That's what they both thought as they climbed into bed together that night, both on the edge of the mattress, trying to keep away from the other. 

"Dan, this is-"

"Ridiculous, I know. I'll go get on the sofa." Dan said quietly, pulling the blankets off of himself to get out of bed, being stopped by Phil's hand on his side. 

"No. Stay in bed. I just think we need to talk."

"I think talking would actually make it worse, so... I'm just going to sleep on the sofa." Dan paused before looking down at Phil's hand that wouldn't move before sighing. "Fine. Talk about what?"

"We broke up."

Dan gasped teasingly and put a hand to his chest to feign surprise, "What? Really? I thought we were married," he said sarcastically, glaring at Phil. 

"Dan, be serious." Phil scolded, pulling his hand away from Dan's side. 

"Sorry, sorry. You want to talk about the breakup?"

"I want to talk about after the breakup," Phil said quietly. Dan shook his head and quickly got out of the bed, trying to cover his half-naked body as best as possible. 

"Nope. We don't need to talk about that."

"It's what causing all of this turmoil. I know it's causing me to be a little... weird." 

"I'm perfectly okay with that. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not, Dan? You can't just hide everything. You're not strong enough to do that." Phil spat, glaring at him, sitting up to look at his reddening face.

"Not strong enough? I've done a pretty good job of hiding all my shit from you because I didn't want this to happen. Do you want me to talk about it?"

"I do."

"How about let's talk about the fact that I loved you. I told you that I loved you and you ran away. You yelled in my face about it being my fault. You made me feel so so small, Phil. Then you gave me the hope we could get back together. You shouldn't have come back to my place that night, Phil. You used me, and I will never ever forgive you for that. I was weak, I was vulnerable, and you used that to your advantage to get me in bed. And now I'm still in love with you and I want that night to happen again and I'm going to sleep on the sofa, so good night." Dan spat out, tears running down his face as he stomped away, down the small hallway the led to the living area, leaving a dumbfounded Phil laying in bed by himself. 


	14. Breakfast (part 1)

"Dan," Phil whispered in Dan's face, kneeling on the ground in front of the sofa, his hand resting on Dan's hip. 

"Leave me alone," Dan mumbled, trying to push Phil's hand away, turning to face away from him. His hair was all messy against the sofa pillows and the skin on his arms and chest covered with goosebumps. 

"Come on, Dan. I need to talk to you." Phil said with a slight whine, shaking the boy on the couch. Dan huffed and sat up, glaring at Phil with daggers in his eyes. 

"Go away. I don't want to talk." Dan hissed, shoving Phil back before laying back down, covering his face with his arms. Phil stood up and sighed, walking away from the couch into the bedroom. Dan sat up and watched him leave, rubbing his eyes before standing up and slowly walking to the bathroom to get changed for the day. Quickly, he pulled on a pink crop top sweater and white jean shorts that came down to just below his ass and ran a brush through his hair before the door swung open. Phil stood in the doorway in only his boxers, an outfit in his hands like he was about to change as well. 

"Oh, sorry," Dan mumbled, looking down as he pushed past Phil to get out of the room.

"Dan, I want to talk."

"You wanted to talk last night too and you see how that worked out." Dan huffed, staring at the wall in front of him as he stopped to answer, refusing to turn to face Phil. 

"Why do you not talk about things until they burst out of you? You need to learn how to be able to control that."

"At least not being able to control my emotions is better than not being able to control my dick," Dan mumbled with a smirk, proud of the comeback he has made. Phil glared at him and put the clothes down on the countertop, walking over to shove Dan against the wall in front of him, Dan's face pushed against the wall. He held him there, listening to the whimper that left Dan's mouth. 

"Shut up," he spat. "We should have that talk now, huh? I mean, while I have you here." Dan swallowed and nodded slightly. "You had no right to just say all that stuff last night then leave. You can't just tell me you love me then leave."

Dan laughed spitefully, "You left when I told you I loved you the first time so I was just doing it before you did."

"I didn't take advantage of you that night," he continued, ignoring the comment Dan made. "I miss you and I want to do what we did again, but I can't go back to you, okay?" Dan nodded and relaxed against the wall, squeezing his eyes closed. 

"Let's go get breakfast, Phil," Dan whispered, turning around to face him as he felt the pressure alleviated. He cupped his cheek and pressed a short kiss on his lips before slipping away into the living room to retrieve his phone. 

"How about we just order room service and stay in bed," Phil suggested as he pulled on his tee shirt and jeans, running his hand through his hair. 

"That sounds good. But no funny business. I think we actually need to talk about this thing."


	15. Breakfast (part 2)

Dan giggled as he ate a bite of his pancakes, covering his mouth as Phil smiled at him, embarrassed about getting food on his face. The two looked at each other and smiled, Dan is the first to pull away from the stare, looking down at the food in his lap. 

"Look, Phil. I'm not saying we have to get back together. I wouldn't want you to do it if you didn't want to, so if you want to, I'm up for it. And if you don't we need to be able to just do things like this without being weird about it." Dan mumbled through his food, glancing up slightly. 

"I'm not sure what I want yet," he paused, chewing on his lip as he looked at the boy across from him on the bed. "Would you be willing to wait until I figured it out?"

Dan smiled and nodded, "Yeah, of course. Just, one thing. I don't think I can handle another one night stand with you. I'm too emotionally invested in us to be doing that." 

Phil nodded slightly, "What if it's not a one night stand?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if we have a sexual relationship. It'll be like we are dating without me having to worry about whether or not I love you." Dan chuckled and looked down, moving the food around on his plate.

"That sounds rather demeaning for me. I'm just used for sex?" Dan said, lifting up his eyebrow quizzically as Phil stumbled for an answer. 

"Well, no. And yes.  We would be able to have the physical thing that we as dancers crave a-"

"As dancers? Because only dancers want to fuck each other, right?" Dan joked, shoving more food into his mouth. 

"Shut up, I hate you." Phil laughed, grinning at the younger of the two, turning serious after a moment. "And maybe if that can last a while I can figure out all this feelings garbage that everyone tells me I need to have. Then we can have a real thing." 

"You think so?" Dan asked quietly, fiddling with something in his hands to try to focus on something other than the conversation happening. Phil nodded slightly and smiled, reaching across the bed to rest his hand on Dan's knee, running his thumb in circles. 

"As much as I want to..." Dan paused, looking up at Phil with a slight frown. "I don't think I can, Phil. I can't do that knowing that it means nothing other than just sex. I feel too much for you. But I will wait it out until you can figure everything out and I won't let everything get in the way of what we came here to do, which is to win that god damn competition and take home the prize money and that spot." 

"The spot?" Phil said, brushing everything else off that Dan has just blurted out at him. "What spot?"

"You... You didn't know about the spot?" Dan asked quietly, pulling his knees close to his body, "Phil, whichever team wins gets evaluated and one of the team members gets to go to attend the New York Dance Academy next year. I'm sorry, I thought you knew." Phil froze and looked down, scoffing quietly under his breath and shaking his head slightly in disbelief. 

"So, even if I do fall in love with you and we win this competition which is everything in my wildest dreams right now, I don't get to see you for another year?" Phil whispered, looking up at Dan with a mixture of anger and pain in his eyes. 

"Phil, I honestly thought you knew about it, Nancy told us when she announced the competition in the first place." Dan put his hand on Phil's softly, trying to reassure him, only to have it flung away and Phil get off the bed and silently exit the hotel room, leaving Dan alone. 


End file.
